Gambling Addiction Causes, Treatment & Symptoms

Disclaimer I want to thank everyone for the gilds, replies and suggestions. I just do not have time to reply to everyone, but I am reading everything. I am not sure how much bigger the thread can be, I already typed this but it vanished so I think I'm at the limit. I will try to keep updating, but I don't expect the thread to be up top for much longer and will likely vanish soon, so if you need anything save it.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers

Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
Disney+
Britbox
Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder

If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system.
Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section.
Completely free TV

If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox.
Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like.
Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird.
Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device.
For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV.
Anime
If you are into Anime there is

The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two.
PC Centric software
If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design

Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12.
Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development.
The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals.
Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap.
Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam.
**BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however.
IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff.
Game Store Fronts

Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.

Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months

Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.

There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks

Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.

Education

Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.

If you need some spare change
Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change

If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."

That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment.
Hope it helps someone at least
PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year
fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75!
tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books
Learning Language
Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments:
Togtogtog Gives a lot of links for Spanish

Duolingo Numerous people have suggested this So I haven't used myself. Thanks to OhHiGCHQ StephanieMecredy & Allorie_95

Board & Tabletop games
Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games
ilyemco suggested these
HEALTH
I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix.
Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7.
If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery.
HELP & ADVICE
The lockdown Rules.
Reasons to leave home include:

Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
Communal religious worship
Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house

I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)

To flee the threat of harm or violence.*
CoronaVirus Symptoms
CoronaVirus government site You can check your location and how many cases here.
Worldometers Shows cases around the world.
Interactive UK Map Another easy to read map with cases in counties and local area's.
World Health Organisation

Support

FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted these links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:

Update:
Digital Art
These are Free

Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.

You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen.
Office suit software
A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.

LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.

Music Making
I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software.
Games development
D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here

Disclaimer I am posting this here because I got a message from the mods asking me to. I'm not from London so links aren't London centric (but hopefully still of help) and the main post is here so any updates will likely be there (I will try here but it's hard to keep up with the amount of suggestions)
Thanks.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers

Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
Disney+
Britbox
Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder

If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system.
Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section.
Completely free TV

If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox.
Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like.
Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird.
Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device.
For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV.
Anime
If you are into Anime there is

The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two.
PC Centric software
If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design

Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12.
Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development.
The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals.
Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap.
Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam.
**BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however.
IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff.
Game Store Fronts

Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.

Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months

Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.

There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks

Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.

Education

Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.

If you need some spare change
Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change

If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."

That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment.
Hope it helps someone at least
PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year
fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75!
tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books
Learning Language
Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments:
Togtogtog Gives a lot of links for Spanish

Duolingo Numerous people have suggested this So I haven't used myself. Thanks to OhHiGCHQ StephanieMecredy & Allorie_95

Board & Tabletop games
Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games
ilyemco suggested these
HEALTH
I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix.
Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7.
If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery.
HELP & ADVICE
The lockdown Rules.
Reasons to leave home include:

Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
Communal religious worship
Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house

I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)

To flee the threat of harm or violence.*
CoronaVirus Symptoms
CoronaVirus government site You can check your location and how many cases here.
Worldometers Shows cases around the world.
Interactive UK Map Another easy to read map with cases in counties and local area's.
World Health Organisation

Support

FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted this links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:

Update:
Digital Art
These are Free

Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.

You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen.
Office suit software
A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.

LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.

Music Making
I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software.
Games development
D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here

Okey, so this started with me getting 200$ from online gambling, I was and am still on the verge ofpersonal bankruptcy. I am very good at gambling and my full time job is now online gambling, i need to sit on the computer day gambling for 8 hours in a row to turn a profit, i only make safe calculated bets which will gain me money in the long run. I had my old Hyperx Headset, i need a good headset so i can hear the roulette wheel spin but my hyperx cloud 2 broke down in to multiple pieces after i smashed it into the ground after a small loss of about 50% of my available assets. I now needed a new headset and was looking at the Razer Blackshark V2 Pro but i was told to not get that because it is razer and razer is a shit brand, I got recomended a Corsair Virtuoso RGB and me being the stupid fish i am, i hooked on the bait. I purchased one of these headsets, a mistake i will regret for all of eternity. When i first tried it on i immedietly knew something was wrong, The top of my head hurt, my ears had a brain squeezing pain and i was in severe pain overall. I had to use the headset because i couldnt return it, after 8 hours i was in total agony and was on the verge of suicide, but i took a quick look into my grandmas bedside table and found some "painkillers", I popped a few of these and the head felt much better, i was now very happy with my purchase, i have never felt this good before, i dont know if it was the headset or the painkillers. After about 1 week of stealing my grandmas painkillers there were none left and i noticed a few severe withdrawal symptoms, i had accidently taken 3x the recommended dose and i was now fully dependant on these opiod painkillers, i had went cold turkey from an addiction could not quit. My life is now completely ruined, i am roaming down the streets looking for the cheapest black tar available and it is all because of this shitty headset, Thank you corsair, for ruining my life!

I was up $22,252 from a $20 deposit on an online casino from last night, and it is now 100% GONE.
Wagered 701k from my whole session today. I am also taking Adderall 30MG for my ADHD (and slight addiction, but I am prescribed)
I feel like Adderall makes me just wanna NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT
Well I was at 22k and I bet 1k on a game... lost, and chased it 11 times later, then had a loss streak mixed in shortly later.
Does anybody have a problem with taking Adderall and also gambling? I am not a gambling addict, but I am a new casino user that is VERY scared into slipping into one. I love it, and I am SICK losing this profit 22.5k and I only put in $20 !!!!!!
You really think I'm not gonna give it another shot?
This is why I'm scared. I'm scared to fall into the trap of being a degenerate and gamble winnings or work earnings all day everyday.
I do not want to stop, and I do not think stopping is even an option.
What do I do? I think I am going insane, but on early stage.
I do not show much symptoms

I was up $22,252 from a $20 deposit on an online casino from last night, and it is now 100% GONE.
Wagered 701k from my whole session today. I am also taking Adderall 30MG for my ADHD (and slight addiction, but I am prescribed)
I feel like Adderall makes me just wanna NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT
Well I was at 22k and I bet 1k on a game... lost, and chased it 11 times later, then had a loss streak mixed in shortly later.
Does anybody have a problem with taking Adderall and also gambling? I am not a gambling addict, but I am a new casino user that is VERY scared into slipping into one. I love it, and I am SICK losing this profit 22.5k and I only put in $20 !!!!!!
You really think I'm not gonna give it another shot?
This is why I'm scared. I'm scared to fall into the trap of being a degenerate and gamble winnings or work earnings all day everyday.

I do not want to stop, and I do not think stopping is even an option.
What do I do? I think I am going insane, but on early stage.
I do not show much symptoms

Surviving a BPD breakup: one dude’s journey
Disclaimer: BPD is a spectrum of traits. Not everyone who holds these traits has BPD. Moreover, everyone’s experience with a pwBPD is different. My ex most likely was what one would call a quiet pwBPD, and what has helped me may not be helpful for you. However, if you find my story is helpful, then awesome. Thank you for reading.
So if your experience is anything like mine, you may find yourself sitting in your car staring out into space dumbfounded after getting an abrupt call from who you thought was your girlfriend. You are shocked because after almost two years she has just broken up with you in the most robotic and unempathetic way possible. You may be feeling empty or devastated or numb. This is totally understandable. What’s hard to understand at this moment is how someone who showered you with so much love could be so cold and cruel to you.
For me, this is where my journey started - sitting in my car staring out into space. Everyone’s experience is different, but I wanted to share the process that I went through to start my recovery. I am by no means through the thicket of a BPD breakup, but I have started to see the light. From one person to another, I want to sincerely say that I’m sorry this is happening to you. You didn’t deserve this, and in time I think you will come to understand it largely had nothing to do with you, your looks, your financial means, your personality, or your job. I now look at this experience like a natural disaster - it just happens. The tornado didn’t hit your house because you were a few pounds overweight - it is so far out of your control it is more akin to an act of god.
Step One: Triage
If you are like me, you had become quite attached to this person. This is by design. What looked like falling in love to you was actually falling for a calculated, constructed persona that mirrored your own. My ex wrote down everything I said on our first date into a notebook. I realized later she used this to construct a persona that I would become hopelessly attached to. Needless to say, it worked. I fell head over heels for this person and thought that I had found my soulmate. I was wrong. I was being idealized and manipulated into attaching to someone who at best has an avoidant attachment style. They put together this persona and play this role, but this is not their true self. They have a cycle of attachment and breakups that will continue throughout their lives until they choose to seek help. Some are aware of their tendencies, and some are strangers to themselves. Either way, the act of creating this persona takes a lot of energy. They have only so much gas in their tank, and once it begins to run low the relationship will hit the rocks.
A person with BPD (pwBPD) sees romantic partners as either all good or all bad. When they decide that you have switched from all good to all bad, this is called splitting. In a moment of clarity, my ex referred to this as “my lens just changed”, like at the eye doctor. In a split second, you move from the soulmate category to the existential threat category in their brain. Even if you get back together with them and move back into an idealization cycle, the clock is ticking on your relationship. You will be devalued and discarded, it is only a matter of time. What will ensue between these moments will most likely be quite an emotional roller coaster.
So when a pwBPD finally discards you, they will treat you like you have zero worth to them (because that’s how they view you). My ex told me that “I believe that every next relationship will be better than this one.” She also said, “I hope one day you and I can both agree that this is the best thing for me.” Ouch. Keep in mind, this is only days after inviting me on a vacation to the beach next summer and sending me romantic good morning text messages. They split because they need you to be out of their lives immediately. They have decided that you are going to abandon them which would destroy them. You are going to knock down their house of cards and you need to disappear post haste. It’s also important to understand that by the time you are finally discarded they are most likely already setting up their next “favorite person”. Online dating is an incredibly fertile hunting ground for pwBPD, and they use it deftly.
So, back to triage. You have just experienced an emotional trauma that can be hard to deal with. I still remember the feeling of sitting in my car staring out the window feeling numb. This is what I call the great “rug pull”. You just found out that your trust, love, and loyalty meant very little to this person, and they will leave you with zero closure. It can feel like a car hitting a wall at 60 miles per hour. With most relationships, you know when things are going badly. To go back to the car analogy, you hear something in the engine that doesn’t sound right or the car breaks down from time to time. When a relationship with a pwBPD goes bad, it goes bad abruptly.
Over the next few weeks, your own brain will be at war with your reality. You will need to find your people and lean on your support system. Family, friends, therapists, and even pets will be crucial for supporting you through these first weeks. Call them up. Talk through your feelings and your confusion. Lean on those people that love you. I had multiple people on both coasts talking to me for the first week at all hours of the day. I can’t thank these people enough now. They were crucial to my recovery. Remember to eat, brush your teeth, and feed the fish. Just being quasi-functional for the first few weeks should be considered a win. Do what you need to do to make it through the first weeks, but there is only one hard and fast rule in this stage: No Contact! Do not initiate any contact whatsoever with your ex. They may reach out to you trying to “be friends” during this stage. Block them if they do. The person who is causing your pain cannot be the source of your comfort. Say that to yourself everyday all day.
Step Two: Acceptance
Your brain has gotten used to being in love or attached to this person. If you have tendencies toward codependency, the feelings you had may have even bordered on an addiction. This is a tough stage to manage. If you are like me, your brain will fight tooth and nail against accepting reality. This is totally understandable as the reality is quite harsh. You were merely an attachment placeholder for this person, and when you had no more use for them you were discarded and replaced immediately. Again, ouch.
The next waypoint on this journey is radical acceptance of the facts. Ironically, the pwBPD will be helping you with your radical acceptance stage with their cruelty, their silence, their heartlessness, or through flaunting their new life on social media. My ex was not overly cruel to me, but it was very important to her that I had all my stuff out of her place and I returned her key to her quickly. Again, you need to cease to exist as fast as possible.
Watch any videos online you need to about radical acceptance. Call up a friend and tell them how unfair all this is. Go out into the woods and yell up into the trees. Write letter after letter to them and burn them (under no circumstances send them). Do whatever you need to do, but you cannot move on to the next step until you can accept these two facts: 1) This person is gone forever, and 2) The person you fell in love with no longer exists. Super harsh, I know, but those are the facts. You will need to find a way to accept them.
Step Three: Agency
Once you begin to accept some of the harsher truths of a breakup with a pwBPD, you are ready to begin to process the trauma through agency. My first act of agency was to begin walking. I processed my feelings through walking around parks and neighborhoods in my town - sometimes up to 20,000 steps a day. Exercise is a great pastime for heartbreak. You get a slight reprieve from your pain, and you get to possibly lose a little weight or feel more in shape. Other really great activities during this stage are journaling, deleting photos, burning any love letters or cards, removing any reminders lying around your house, or blocking the person on social media. If you are having trouble with any of these cathartic “screw them” activities, chances are you are still stuck in step two. If this is you, take a step back, call up some friends, and process the finality of the situation.
Ideally, this agency step has the potential to be a great catalyst for change in your life. However, steer clear of any negative coping strategies like black out drinking, sleeping around, or drugs. It is important to realize that this self-destructive thinking is motivated by the part of you that identified with your ex. If you were in an enmeshed relationship, its very easy for her harsh judgement of you to become your own harsh judgement of yourself. You need to reject this concept. Her actions towards you were aggressive and primitive. You are under attack, and you were abused. Begin to fight back. Fight like hell. The way you do this is through positive agency. Get on a bike and ride. Volunteer at a women’s shelter. Bake a billion cookies and give them out for free. Knit scarves for every homeless vet in your town. I know the pain you feel, and I know how it can twist your thinking. Positive outlets are your way through this dark moment in your life. Cherish them.
Step Four: Education
This stage can be concurrent with any of the stages listed above, but it is no less important. In fact, learning about Borderline Personality Disorder and the many ways it can manifest is essential for your healing. The BPDlovedones subreddit and the Nicola Method website were indispensable for my education about the disorder. I had no idea what BPD even was until I googled “Why does it feel like my ex died”. The next few hours were consumed with a crash course in Cluster B Personality Disorders. I was shocked that each new website was able to describe my relationship and my breakup so accurately. It amazed me to learn that many pwBPD use similar language during splitting and breakups. They talk excessively and have mothers with psychosis. I was dumbfounded to realize that my experience was in no way unique, and that many other people have been fooled and manipulated by pwBPD.
Read it all, and read everything you can. However, there is one big caveat here: find your stopping point. I realized my stopping point was when the heaviness of the situation started affecting my sleep. I had trouble letting it all go in my mind. I felt a strong feeling of compassion for my ex and the harsh emotional world she endures day in and day out. She was abandoned and abused as a child. These feelings for someone who had treated me so harshly were confusing, and I started to feel myself slipping back into the triage phase. So, I just stopped. I closed all the tabs. I stopped reading about other people’s experiences. I had learned all I needed to know and I was ready to move on.
It is important to say that during this education phase you may feel the great White Knight rising up in you. You may feel the great tidal pull towards helping this person who suffers so greatly. Do not fall prey to this thinking. I don’t want to speak for all people with BPD, but I spoke with a psychologist about the tendencies of pwBPD. They rarely seek treatment on their own. They most likely know their interpersonal relationships are messed up. You are not the first person that she will do this to, and you won’t be the last. pwBPD like many people with major problems in their lives (addiction, gambling, etc) don’t seek help until they hit rock bottom. As long as there is a steady supply of people out there willing to enter into this dysfunctional dance with them, they will most likely not seek treatment. It takes the PROLONGED dedication and sacrifice of a parent, a spouse, or a child to get someone into treatment. Unless you are one of the aforementioned, the purpose of educating yourself is to free you from their blame and to walk away with your head held high. Read that last sentence again (or as many times as you need).
Step Five: Introspection
Once you have learned all you care to know about pwBPD, it is time to look inward for answers as well. If your relationship was intense and you had difficulty setting boundaries with or disentangling from the pwBPD, you may have codependent tendencies. This was another harsh reality that I had to accept about myself. I had my own unresolved childhood trauma that made me lose myself and become enmeshed in relationships. This can be problematic in any relationship, but with a pwBPD codependency can cause a tragic whirlpool of events that leaves the codependent heartbroken, confused, and rejected at the end.
Once this realization bubbled to the surface for me, I began to focus my agency on the task of healing some of these wounds and restoring self-love into my life. I created a self-love walking group, read some great posts on reddit, and watched some great videos about codependency. I will post some of what I found in the resources list below. Working with a therapist, I set up appointments to practice EMDR therapy to tackle early childhood trauma. I made therapy goals and a healing road map. I doubled my efforts and redoubled them again.
While all this agency seemed really great at the time, I had another realization that stopped me in my tracks yet again one day. My investigation of codependence was bordering on obsession. I was really motivated to change, but I felt I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was still feeling the blame and judgement from my ex and accepting their shame as my own shame. I was not being compassionate to my pain; I was being judgmental and harsh towards myself. This realization led me to search for how to finally end the enmeshment and exit this trance of unworthiness.
Step Six: Individuation
One book recommended to me by a friend was the book Inner Engineering by Sadhguru. While I was a bit skeptical going into the book, some of the quotes early in the book kept me reading. I liked the idea that “The only way out is by going in.” I liked the focus on meditation and accessing the joy inherent in the present moment.
While the first chapters are more autobiographical, there is a section in the introduction where Sadhguru explains the essence of his philosophy. For me, this was the game changer. His philosophy all boils down to this one phrase: “I am responsible.” Just reading these words already had an affect on my outlook. He continues, “My responsibility is limitless. If I am willing I can respond to everything. I am 100% responsible for everything I am and everything I am not. For my capacities and my incapacities, for my joys and my miseries. I am the one who determines the nature of my experience in this life and beyond. I am the maker of my life.” Sadhguru is using the word responsible to mean response-able here. What he is saying is that if you are able to look inside yourself, you have limitless power to respond to anything. He is also using the other meaning of responsible here too. You and you alone are responsible for your life.
I began saying this phrase to myself over and over again. I thought it to myself as I lay down to go to sleep and when I woke up in the morning. I did some mindfulness meditation and processed this idea, “I am the one who determines the nature of my experience. I am the maker of my life.” Through this process I realized that the person who had both lifted me up and then dropped me so abruptly no longer had any power in my mind. I have the power to control my thoughts and respond to life events.
Another way that I heard it put is that, “Between stimulus and response is space. In this space is your power.” I began to take control of that space and to tend to my own mind like someone might tend to a garden - pruning and weeding as necessary. If I feel self-damaging thoughts rising, I remember that I am responsible for those thoughts, and I have a choice to think differently. In my journal I began to keep track of this positive thinking. I wrote down achievements and goals, and I began noticing with fresh eyes the wonderful aspects to my self.
The goal during this phase is to shift something called "internal locus of control." Your internal locus of control is your inner philosophy about your interactions with the world. This locus is largely formed in childhood and adverse experiences can cause a child to hold an external locus of control. This is the belief that your life is governed by external forces: luck, fate, circumstance, other people. This can cause many problems, but for me it caused an overdependence on other people for happiness and fulfillment. In relationships, this can cause a codependency and neediness that can be toxic.
What I have found is that shifting your perspective to an internal locus of control takes a dedication not only to controlling the present, but also to revisiting the past traumas that keep you stuck. In therapy, I have learned that these traumas are caused by a lack of agency when they happen. One of my experiences was that I was relentlessly bullied by much older boys when I was younger. In the moment, I responded not by fighting back, but freezing. My fight or flight response in that moment lacked agency and as a result, I developed a more external locus of control. I believed that my life (trauma, success, emotions, etc) happens to me, and that I had limited control over that.
By practicing some inner child meditation and visualizations, I was able to revisit these moments and regain that lost agency. For instance, I revisited one particularly terrifying moment and comforted and coached myself through saying no and setting boundaries with the bullies. This was really helpful in rebalancing my locus of control and taking ownership of my thoughts, my actions, and my goals. This was an intensely liberating realization overall, and I found my recovery from depression, anxiety, and heartbreak began to happen once I began the process of unlocking agency in my past.
Step Seven: Goal-Oriented Therapy
At this point in your recovery you may be feeling stronger and more confident. You may think about your ex only rarely and the No Contact has helped give you the space to heal. One activity that helped me to continue the process of moving forward was goal setting. For someone who had codependency and locus of control issues, goals can be fluid when they should be absolute. If my girlfriend needed to complete x on a given day while I had to complete y, more often than not I would abandon my goal and focus on hers. This is a clear symptom of a codependent relationship and ultimately very unhealthy.
The antidote to this is to begin the process of setting and achieving your own goals. Starting small is a good idea. Write down three goals for a Saturday in your journal and complete them. Set a weekly goal or a monthly goal. As you begin to be more reliable about meeting your goals, more seem to appear out of the woodwork. Maybe new hobbies or friendships appear. Maybe you start to set financial goals and meet them. Maybe your goals become longer term goals. No matter what the goal, the important thing for this stage is this: show up for yourself. You again are limitlessly responsible, and you alone are the maker of your life. Show Up For Yourself. You are worthy of love, and if you don't show up for yourself then no one else will.
Step Eight: Boundaries and Values
After working on being more goal oriented, I began to consider another relationship again. It was pretty evident to me, however, that I should probably only enter into a relationship when I was again stable and recovered from my breakup. I began to think about what I would need to feel that I was out of the woods (or at least well on my way).
My first need was to identify and name my personal values. I realized that these values are the unshakeable foundation of my personality, and they should not be subject to outside forces. When you are codependent and dating someone who has a constantly changing sense of self, you can sometimes unconsciously mirror their tendencies. I found I was unmoored from my own values in this relationship and really lost my sense of self. So, cementing those values was a really important step towards healing. You have to honor what makes you you.
Some of the areas where I defined one or more values were family, my children, friends, my character, work, health, food, alone time, wants, preferences, needs etc. This process is an important one and should take some time. Be very deliberate about each area of your life. I found that taking a day or two to think about each one yielded the best responses.
Secondly, I used these values to generate a list of unshakeable boundaries that I will have moving forwards. For each value, I identified the boundaries I would need to maintain this value while being in a relationship with another person. To give you an example, one value I have is that time with my friends from high school is sacred to me. I set a goal of seeing them at a minimum twice a month - no matter what my relationship status might be. After it was all said and done, I had around forty boundaries that will serve as my terms and conditions for any relationship moving forward. While defining these boundaries was a good first step, boundaries are useless without accountability. This led me to the final step of my process.
Step Nine: Accountability
Boundaries and goal setting are great ways to practice an internal locus of control, but these will only work if you honor them. I see my therapist around once a month. I decided to make the beginning of every session about accountability. Each month I plan to fill out a relationship health worksheet and share that with my therapist. I also will share the progress I've made on my goals in the past month. The aim here is not to have someone else babysit your progress, but to be accountable to yourself. Again, the best thing you can do is to Show Up for Yourself!
So, this is where you’ll find me present day. I am still rebuilding after what felt like a relationship hurricane, but the good news is that you have an opportunity to rebuild your house to be stronger and more resilient than before. You’ll also have a good eye for spotting Cluster B narcissists and pwBPD by their tendencies towards idealization and manipulation.
Resources
The Nicola Method Inner Engineering Hardwiring Happiness Waking up from the trance of unworthiness - Tara Brach The Body Keeps the Score Future Self Journaling
Edit: Added more resources

My boyfriend just came home very shaken. He realized today he has no memory of a lot of different, sometimes important issues, and even has imagined doing things he didn't do. He described having a feeling like he'd been "walking around with a plastic bag around his head", not having clear memories about pretty much anything.
He's very scared and sad, even though he tries to hide it. He booked an appointment with a nurse immediately, he'll hopefully be directed to a doctor from there. The appointment is almost a week from now, so I'm posting this to maybe give us a little peace of mind from hearing your opinions. I'll post more details after this basic information.

Age 42
Sex Male
Height 178 cm or so (5ft 10")
Weight 95 kg or so (209 lbs)
Race Caucasian (nordic)
Duration of complaint: Hard to say, at least some months
Location Finland
Any existing relevant medical issues: Depression diagnosed a couple of times during his life, most recently about 2 years ago, he felt his depression had subsided this spring. Sleep apnea. Asthma. Cancerous growths in bowels, succesfully removed last autumn. Anal fistula and other colon problems which required a series of surgeries and a short-term ostomy, last operation in February, now recovered. Slightly overweight.
Current medications: asthma inhaler (Symbicort), nothing else. He doesn't use his sleep apnea mask.

He uses alcohol, around every other weekend. He sometimes drinks a lot in one sitting, but not recently. He has used some drugs recreationally, recently mostly weed around once a month. The drugs he has tried are mostly uppers and LSD afaik. Edit: he's also a smoker.
This all started today when my boyfriend received a text from our landlord about him having not paid any rent in a long time. BF was baffled, as he was sure he had been paying the rent, and went to check if he'd been sending the money to the wrong account. As it turns out, he had not been sending any rent money to anyone, even though he could have sworn he had. At least for half a year. He also noticed he had been putting money on online casinos and apparently playing it away. He does not have any memories of doing so. But that's where the money has been going, I guess, since it's all gone. (Just giving a bit of context on why we haven't noticed anything weird in our finances, you can skip this part if not interested: ^{He started his job in may. To be honest, we're poor to begin with and his job isn't the most lucrative of them, but it's the best we can get right now. We've been living hand-to-mouth and late on rent even before this because of both of our illnesses. He's also had to take some of his pay in advance, so it's gotten very confusing about how much money he's been getting and when. And as you can probably tell, we are now royally fucked. We both have our own rent contracts for this apartment, but the agreement was that he payed it all since he started making more money than me. He has been telling me every month that he paid the rent, as he truly believed he had. Our landlord is very lax, friendly and understanding, which is why he didn't really bring it up before, as we had promised him earlier to pay up when BF's job started rolling. We already discussed having him put the rent money on my account from now on, and his boss not giving him any more advances.})
After thinking about it, BF realized he didn't really have many memories for at least the past year. His past in general is just foggy and confusing in his brain. He had a couple of concussions at ages (approximately) 10 and 30. He has expressed worry about his memory to me before, 5 years or more ago, and then he suspected a connection with the concussions. It has not been studied by a doctor.
I had noticed he didn't remember a lot of stuff, whether it was something we discussed or a situation he had been involved in. He also remmebered many things completely differently than me, and sometimes mixed up people, times and places. But I didn't notice it happening so often that I had a reason to get worried, it's only in retrospect I really see the pattern. Something he didn't remember at all even though I clearly recalled him doing/saying it came up around once a week or two. It was completely ordinary everyday stuff. I can have perfectly normal conversations with him, and he does not seem any different cognitively than 6 years ago. He is a very smart man. He tells me his work partner and friend also complained of the same phenomenon. He's been doing well at his job, as a construction worker. He has worked very long hours and weeks every now and then.
He had to be on sick leave for the past 2 years because of colon problems and multiple surgeries. Back then he was kinda depressed because we were struggling financially (and other reasons I'm sure), but he didn't really want to go to a psychiatrist or start eating antidepressants again. (He used to be on a couple of different SSRIs, which I think worked for him.) Most of his free time he spends watching tv or sleeping. He's pretty much always either at work or home, no real hobbies. On weekends he drinks some beers with me or his buddies. I felt like he might be depressed still, but when he started working again in May, he seemed much happier, despite none of aforementioned things changing, so I brushed it off.
I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. We are both very worried and anxious, and any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated.
^{And because I know someone will suspect this:} I have every reason to believe he's telling the truth. ^{He's not a good liar, and our relationship is very open about everything. There's no reason for him to lie. I spend most days and evenings at home with him, so I know he's not out there spending the money on something secretly. And he was so proud about his new job, about finally getting us out of the hole. The pure terror and defeatedness he's experiencing right now, is evident.}
^{Edit. formatting}
EDIT2: for those who think he's probably lying and has a gambling addiction
I replied this to the top comment saying he's probably just lying to me, and thought it would be good to have it up here as well.
I understand why you say that. If I read this post from someone else I'd go straight to the conclusion that he's lying as well. I'll talk to him when he gets home tonight and try to get to the bottom of this.
But I still don't think it's necessarily lying. He has had gambling problems for the duration of our relationship, but never serious enough to gamble that much money away. And the thing that trips me here, is that he's always been honest about it. (As much as I can tell...) He's come to me a few times, ashamed, explaining that he played too much and ended up spending like a couple hundred euros. And that was bad, and even though I was angry, I forgave him and we made things work. He always seemed to "wake up" momentarily and have a pause on the gambling that appeared to last some months at best. After that happening a couple of times, he got it under control and only gambled some tens of euros per month. Anyway, my point is that he's been open about it before and I haven't left him or blown up or anything. So I think he'd feel comfortable to be honest about it now, or more pressingly, back when this began months ago.
I also cannot stress how scared he seemed yesterday when telling me about this. He was positively terrified and on the verge of tears. And he's the kind of Finnish man that doesn't show emotion or weakness. I do believe he's truly afraid for his own health. (Of course, it could be he's scared of the financial situation he's put us in. When I asked if our landlord had seemed understanding or angry, he said "It's not like he was happy, but he's not kicking us out yet. But I don't really care about any of that, I'm just worried I'm crazy.")
I'd like to point out his financial stress and feelings of not "providing" adequately have been troubling him for a long time, so paying the bills must have been a distressing experience. Every month, the day his salary came, he told me how relieved he was now that he had been able to pay the rent and some extra to try and catch up on the rent we hadn't been able to pay earlier when he was ill. He was so happy and proud. If he'd been gambling 600+€ knowingly, I get he'd have a high from the adrenaline, but how could he be relieved if he lost? I mean, he had to realize we wouldn't soon have a roof over our heads. He used to get really irritated and down when he lost at gambling, too.
All of the rent money hadn't been going to gambling, it's not like the exact amount of the rent had vanished. (I'll double check this later.) I'd think that was a crazy amount to play on online casinos anyway. (Again, our rent is 600€ and he's also been thinking he'd been paying extra to eventually make up for the lost months.) It's been going to my medications, which are numerous and expensive. We've been shopping for our home, we've gotten some new clothes etc. Of course food and stuff like that. We have been eating slightly fancier since we thought we could afford it.
Also, like at least one commenter pointed out, his memory issues aren't limited to financial ones, this is just the biggest, most palpable example. I should probably have described more of the everyday stuff as well.
Most of the things he simply doesn't remember have left me kinda weirded out. Like two of our friends almost having a fight over something, when he and I went in to try and calm them down. Something like that happened some weeks ago and when I recently talked to him about it, he didn't have any idea what I meant. I described the situation and location and timing to him, and what he said and how involved he had been. He didn't recall anything of the whole debacle. He did remember us being there, but not this one big event.
Not all of these were negative experiences either. Another one was that during the past year I've grown very close to a friend of mine, and a few months ago we came to the agreement that we are Best Friends now. I told all about it to my boyfriend, and he was very happy for me. Fast forward a month or two, and I mention my best friend to him. He's happily surprized: "You two are besties now?! Amazing, I'm so happy for you!" He was so moved he texted this friend of ours immediately about how great news this was. I told him we'd had the same exact discussion before, and he just could not remember it. He had had no idea, apparently.
A lot of similar stuff has been coming up. Before, he used to have impeccable memory on what I tell him to bring from the store. He'd have the list I recited to him in his head and remember everything every single time. These days I give him a note where I write the list, and he still misses at least one item most of the time. And he doesn't even realize it before I ask for the missing item.
He's also forgot something he bought to the store/thought he bah bought something he didn't. He came home once, declaring he got the best deal ever on some steaks that were on sale. But they were nowhere to be found. He was so sure he had bought them, he went back to the store right away to ask the cashier if he's left it on the packing line (not sure what to call it). The cashier didn't have any idea what had happened, though he did remember my boyfriend. In the end, he went and bought the same steaks again(?), and came home very confused, saying "Maybe someone saw them laying there and just took them, or maybe I didn't buy them after all. I think I did, but I'm honestly not sure." ^EditHe then said he might have just meant to buy them and actually when he thought about it, was pretty much 50/50 on whether he had decided against buying them after all. This happened maybe six months ago, and similar, though less dramatic things have happened a couple more times.
Also also, I know I'm being a nitpicking little pain in the ass, but that doesn't constitute gaslighting even if he's lying. ;P He'd be gaslighting me if he'd try to make me feel like I'm crazy, but telling me he is crazy would just be plain old lying.
In conclusion, I'm taking what all of you are saying about him probably having a gambling addiction and just lying to me very seriously, but I think there is a big chance he's actually being truthful. I will take precautions such as having him show the information on his bank to me and taking the responsibility of paying rent from now on. I'll have him send at least part of his salary to my account so I can pay it. We are hoping for a CT scan of his head, and a doctor's appointment. I also already told him that I think he probably needs therapy and at the very least an appointment with a psychiatrist. (He wasn't exactly happy about it, but agreed.)
EDIT3 I just need to make it clear that yes, he does have a gambling addiction. You're all right about that. But I do have reason to believe he also has something else going that messes with his brain, and the above edit is my reasoning why.
EDIT4 I gave a small update in this comment, about the conversation I had with him today

So I'm currently a sophomore attending a very rigorous, top 25 US university. Basically, I had found myself going down a dark path when COVID/Lockdowns first started. As I am sure it did to most, being in a lockdown/isolated from the normal life that we have all grown accustomed to really had a negative impact on my mental health. My family has a history of depression on both sides and I could not admit it to myself at the time, but I was becoming depressed. I started smoking weed everyday, multiple times per day and stayed in bed constantly. I would just smoke, go on my laptop, xbox, or phone and numb myself from the feelings I was experiencing.
Once the lockdown started to ease up in the summer, I was 20 pounds heavier (in 2 months) and disgusted with myself whenever I was sober and looked in the mirror. Without any motivation, I continued my way down this dark spiraling path. I kept telling myself it would get better once I returned to college, but I got myself into more bad habits in the mean time. My "friend" became an illegal "online bookie" and I would spend my days just gambling and smoking. My concept of realness would get so numbed from the constant high, that I would be irrational with my gambling and not have any concept of how much I was actually losing (these sites use credits, so there are no up front deposits needed. Just a final payout/collection at the end of the week.). This newfound gambling addiction was a way for me to create excitement in a time I felt there was not much to do.
Luckily for me my college did decide to open up in the fall, and I felt some non drug/gambling related excitement for the first time in awhile. I had just finished pledging a fraternity before COVID had impacted that semester, and could not wait to see my friends. Part of me had no confidence in some regards, as my subtle transformation to a degenerate left me feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. I dealt with this for the beginning of the semester when I got back, but then something cool happened. I started to find motivation. I was able to workout with friends in our dorms which made it a lot more fun and we were able to hold each other accountable, and they helped me go on a t break. I had lost 10 pounds and was feeling the best I had in a long time.
But then I got Covid. I hadn't gone to a single party. We hungout in our dorms and kept low, but everyone on campus was seemingly getting it. The school threw me in a Best Western Motel for 12 days and I completely regressed back to my old ways. All I had for the next 12 days was weed I had brought (Even with the tbreak there was no way at that time I was going to get through 12 days of isolation with no weed at all. Call it dumb, but other people brought alcohol to keep them company, so to each their own) and the TV in my room. As well as the gambling that I decided to take up again, which resulted in me risking a total of $700 in those 12 days and pretty much breaking even at -$12. I was not allowed to go outside once. I had entered into that Best Western when it was around 75-80 degrees in the beginning of October, to 60-65 when I came out, but I didnt realize the gradual shift in temperature til the day I left.
The isolation and experience of that was horrible. I didnt have any symptoms of Covid besides a slight fever and loss of smell which I regained after a few days. These slight symptoms goes for any college student I have personally met that has contracted the disease, which is around 75-100. The symptoms of Covid werent the bad part for me, it was the complete tear of my mental health. I came out of that isolation in the same position I had started in before college started: Depressed, addicted to pot and gambling, and overweight.
The campus I returned to was the most restrictive place I could ever imagine. I got written up for throwing a football on the quad, and being in a 4 person hall when there were 5 people there at the time within the first few weeks. There was nothing to do and I felt completely lost about how I could turn my life around.
This had such a huge toll on me and my habits got worse and worse. I started smoking the most I had ever in my entire life. I would wake up and get high and immediately start placing bets. I had met some guys who were big spenders and I would start to match their spending habits while I was completely fried and not involved in the reality of it all. I knew it was really getting bad when I had to call my parents for $1.3k out of my savings account. I admitted my issues gambling and they told me to get help from someone at school, but wired me the money too. I had thought that by calling them they would take me out of this place and tell me to come home. A few weeks later I was feeling so shit that I was throwing down the most expensive bets ever cause in the back of my head it was "well, you're either gonna be making some nice money or definitely going home this time". Obviously that was foolish and dumb, but thats the way Ive looked back and assessed my thought process during that time and my therapist agrees.
Upon coming home, my family had been supportive and I have never felt better. Hitting a personal rock bottom has shifted my perspective on life and I can gladly say I have been seeing a therapist for the first time in my life these past 6 weeks I have been home, and I also have not bet or smoked once. I am happy to say that I also have been going to the gym 6 times a week, and have never been in better shape before.
With this all being said (sorry for such a long post XD), how do these schools expect us students to be okay in the conditions they have set up for us? I know I am not the only one who has experienced these sort of things this semester, yet might be one of the only ones to admit these problems I have dealt with. Although I am doing great now, I really feel this whole situation is fucked and that these schools should be exposed for the non-caring businesses they truthfully are. They only care about the money we pay them regardless of the experience they provide, and for me thats 38k (76k a year!) for a 2.6 GPA (haven't even told my parents yet, had a 3.4 after last year), deepened mental health issues, and unneeded stress.
I guess theres not really a big question here, but I wanted this to be more of a place for people to share their opinions on the COVID effected semester and share their own experiences. Thanks guys.

Hello everyone,
It's my first post on reddit and i came to ask for help, i'm a 27 yo male.
I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline personality disorder) and pretty much it always made my life miserable, ive tried multiple antidepressants from SSRIs to benzo's.
Last year due to covid i was invited to work from home permanently things got worse and i've been facing alot of loneliness, all my life ive struggled with addiction from sex,alcohol,nicotine and gamble.
Things at work arent easy also, Im a cloud engineer at big tech company and i cant focus on my work, my motivation levels are pretty low and im afraid i might lose my job because im not getting things done.
Currently i'm using cannabis to help my BPD symptoms and currently thats my only addiction but its making me a lazy and depressed person.
I've read alot about LSD microdosing and i want to give it a try, i'm afraid of a trip, my mind is my biggest enemy.
Im reading the psychelic explorers guide from James Fadiman.
Also i have the following questions: - should i go with mushrooms? Im a cannabis grower so i believe i can do it easily - since im reading Fadiman he advises LSD25, but i can only find 1p-lsd online, is this okay? I would like to go with LSD25 but i cant find it.
I live in Portugal

I got into OSRS a few years ago and have been playing a moderate amount consistently since then. I'll start by saying I am on the spectrum but am mostly functional and I know that many people who play this game are 100% fine. But holy shit some people are not.
Let's start with the obvious one, video game addiction is real. I have around two thousand hours of game time, which over a few years is a manageable 2-3 hours a day. I know I play more RS than I should, but I constantly get looked down on for only putting in 2-3 hours a day. If you are putting in 5+, or 10+ like some people I have met, please seek help. Video game addiction is real and we shouldn't be glorifying it by degrading everyone without max stats and gear. If you are playing an ungodly amount of this game, you are missing an ungodly amount of your life, which GP will never be able to buy back.
To add to this, gambling addiction is real. If you find yourself believing your luck is perpetually cursed, you look for reasons for why you are unlucky, or obsess over the RNG elements of this game, please get help. When it's contained to RS, the behavior is not that destructive. At worst, you'll put in more hours. But if left unchecked, your benign gambling addiction could become destructive when PvM no longer satisfies the itch. That's why there are so many people enslaved to the duel arena. That's why so many players lose their IRL savings gambling. Please get help, even if it's not affecting your real life yet.
Finally, many of the social interactions are not normal. And keep in mind, I say this as someone on the spectrum. If my unfiltered, mildly autistic ass is completely disgusted by the complete lack of empathy and social regard so many players (PK, PvM and Ironman alike) exhibit, there is a serious problem. Feeling so personally attacked by someone you need to follow them around insulting them all because they inconvenienced you in an online game is not normal. Feeling so powerless you need to inject racial slurs into the people you PK (and have power over) is not normal. Having to belittle other's accomplishments to feel better about your own is not normal. And yet, I think we can all agree on this MMO, these behaviors are somewhat normal.
I think we need to start talking about this more. I'd be willing to bet a large chunk of the playerbase is like me, and on the spectrum. It's no surprise a game which rewards you for hours of repetitive clicking is appealing to people like me. But if we just pretend it doesn't exist, or worse, acknowledge it and turn a blind eye to its symptoms, we are failing are fellow players. We can't just write off LIT doxing people's mothers as "Pkers being toxic" or Ironmen throwing a tantrum when you log into their dust devils. It's destroying the game and normalizing the worst aspects in us, which that people like me genuinely need to suppress to get through life.
So please, let's talk about it. Let's treat toxicity as an opportunity to help people who may need it. If you see friends or clanmates exhibiting these behaviors, please reach out to them. We can make this community better. But only after we acknowledge our faults and work to improve them.

When we last revised the fragrance rules of engagement, another mod suggested adding something like this on the sidebaright column:.

If you think your fragrance passion or obsession is out of control or becoming a compulsion, you can share this as a topic or in weekly General Discussion. Many of us have been there and welcome these discussions.

Yesterday, one of us posted on this topic and I welcomed the chance to think about it again. We don't get a lot of posts on uncontrolled fragrance habits. I took a deep dive (as one does) and overwrote to the point where it's the basis of a post. Obsession and compulsion are the flip side of enjoying and loving fragrance. I'm sharing my story of feeling out of control. I hope others will too.
___________________________
It's a compulsion. Calling it an addiction allows us to not make any changes because addiction implies it's totally out of our control. It's not.
There is a feeling of not being in control, but it's a feeling we can make changes to over time, not overnight, but we can change it. Whereas with an addiction, going cold turkey or even leveling down more slowly, could end up very sick.
I say this from experience of being out of control with my buying and feeling compulsive about it. This was me until almost 3 years into the hobby (I'm 5+ years in). I realized sometime in year two that I had issues. Along with compulsion came overwhelm, and it was this that made me notice because overwhelming means anxiety and stress and confusion. And these feelings divert me from what it is I might really want.
I didn't make myself do anything to change. I just took note of the bad feelings I had and how they blocked the good feelings of having a new perfume. So that was an incentive. And over the past 2+ years, my buying patterns have changed dramatically, I still buy samples whenever I want to. But even that can get overwhelming if I have more than 5 samples at a time landing and another five on the table I haven't tried.
Another incentive was my income changed — I'm now retired and have to manage the money I have. Before this, I could spend without much thought. I never thought I'd ever say this — but having a limited income is a gift. It strips away all the distractions. Except for slowing down the really big ticket items like renovations, travel, a new car — I'm happier now.
Because I buy perfumes online where it's very easy to be a compulsive buyer, I slow my trigger finger. I take it off the trigger but put stuff in my shopping cart and leave the window open — most of the time I forget about it. Today I recommended a perfume I already own, Crown Rose. It's a discontinued 20 year old vintage and I got an excellent deal for a circa 2000-ish batch. There is an older, richer smelling bottle selling on a perfume website for more than twice what I paid for it. I know this because I bought my original samples from that site and noticed a slight difference. Also, I just ordered a bottle of a Frederic Malle which hasn't even landed yet. So right now that older Crown Rose is in an open window. My reasoning earlier today — "it's my birthday, I should get that other bottle now. I deserve it" I'm still thinking that. But the day is over, and it remains unbought. I know that the desire to buy that second bottle is compulsive because I could have bought it any time since last July. Instead I chose to buy other stuff.
The other thing I do — and this is for a lot of stuff — I have a bookmark folder labeled Buy Maybe where I park items I'm interested in, even time-limited sale stuff sometimes. I can't remember the last time I went into that folder. I'm not missing a thing and I don't feel deprived. It feels more like I'm caring for myself, maybe listening to some of my underlying needs.
Sampling and testing fragrances now takes anywhere from a few days to a month, which gives me time to fully evaluate the fragrance and decide if I want a bottle. What I want is not cheap, so this is important. But even when it is cheap, I don't want to have an unwanted bottle hanging around. I have to go into swap mode or sell mode and I don't like listing, taking photos and all that crap. I'm lousy at it.
I think what I'm describing would probably fall under mindfulness.
_______________________
In a fragrance hobby we're either:
1. increasing fragrance knowledge 2. smelling new fragrances 3. Assimilating/describing what we smell, how we feel about it 4. Shopping for fragrance 5. Buying or acquiring perfumes 6. Wearing our favorites, enjoying them whenever we want. 7. Refining and evolving our tastes and appreciation, and reconnecting with known smells.
Rinse and repeat. Sometimes we can get stuck in one phase or another.
Out of control fragrance buying is mood and emotion altering. But unlike genuine addiction, it won't reroute your brain cells, permanently change the level of hormones that brain cells uptake, or land you in the hospital or requiring medication for withdrawal symptoms.
Anyone who's had an alcohol or drug problem or narcotics, gambling — even pornography and gaming can become addictions — may have found themselves in voluntary or involuntary rehab, a 12-step meeting or other support meeting, a therapist's office, or consulting a psychopharm. Any of these addictions can be deadly.
A fragrance buying compulsion can make us feel out of control, cause emotional distress, empty our wallets, dissociate us from whatever else is going on in our lives. it won't land us in rehab or give us horrifying physical side effects after stopping. Alone, with the help of our peers, or with therapy, it's something we can change over time. It may not be easy, but it's a behavior modification, no more no less.
I think most of the obsession/compulsion cycle graphics are missing something. My starting point was always an unrelated emotional trigger, usually a subconscious one. An underlying emotional event almost always triggered my perfume compulsion.
Fragrance compulsions can accelerate immediately as we discover this world, or they can develop over time. For me it wasn't something I was aware of until a year or so in, and then I still called it being really enthusiastic and passionate. What makes it a compulsion?
It's not necessarily the number of bottles you have. There are those among us who can have 250 bottles and be totally in control, mentally at peace, and feel absolutely no dissatisfaction. Others feel unsettled with more than five or ten. It's not how many bottles you own, it's how you feel about them.
And it's not always your physical collection. It may be the hours you spend on YouTube or reading fragrance reviews in Fragrantica or other blogs. It may be the almost unconscious online buying that for me was an issue. It's why I always pause before pulling the trigger and no longer buy in the middle of the night. (If you've opened the front door and seen a package you have no recollection of buying, you know what I mean). In many cases, it's simply the speed of acquisition.
It could be excessive organization, like that 400 line spreadsheet with pivot tables. It could be a compulsive need for compliments, or using perfume thinking that it will make you more attractive, more sociable, more sexy, more classy, more employable — that it will change your life in ways it cannot do, so you don't have to put in the work. Perfume is aspirational, but it's not magic.
My perfume hobby often was the door I could close on whatever it was I didn't want to feel or wasn't ready to face. My eagerness to acquire the next thing totally outran my ability to appreciate it. I became aware that I often used it to desensitize emotionally in other areas of my life. The true cure for me however was just a passage of time, and my willingness to organically allow myself to change.
Fragrance can be a distraction. I've been diagnosed with ADHD — it doesn't take much to distract me. The other part of obsession/compulsion is being overwhelmed and confused. Yet another part of obsession and ADHD is intense concentration or focus on something, like being in a tunnel. That's good when you have a project you have to finish; you can be sure that you'll find your "tunnel" and hours later it'll be done. The kids might be hungry, you may not have paid your bills, you may have lost a night of sleep and not bathed for two days — but that project is done!
Anyway, what's your story? Have you faced obsession, struggled with it, and are past it? Do you have it now? Do you suspect you might be going towards it? You are not alone, and you will not always be stuck there.

Significant discoveries in psychology and physics Psychologically (Treatment of mood disorders) 心理學上（情緒病的治療方法） Physically (Mars immigration plan)
物理學上（火星移民計劃） First of all, I am a manic-depressive patient. Actually I don't know if I am manic-depressive patient, but if you define the symptoms of this disease, I think I do. But please don't judge me first. Reading and analyzing this article, you will know am I correct. Scientists have found powerful evidence that genius may be linked with madness. Our brains structure are congenitally different from ordinary people. The brain runs very fast during the manic phase, but I don't know when we will reach the end. For details, see the characteristics related to bipolar disorder. I think your current treatment of bipolar disorder is wrong because you never understand us. There are many methods and experiences in treating this disease in my mind, and I am confident that my experience can help you. I can say with certainty that your knowledge of this disease is only in your definition of us. For me, as long as I am in an "manic" state, my view of quantum mechanics and religion is completely different from that of ordinary people. We instinctively like to learn about religion, like to learn about the world, and like what we think is the truth. I think these are all areas that can be studied, and there are many more. Although I am not deep in every research, but I can have a different understanding of everything. I think American movies are the existence that convinces us of consciousness. You must have deep research in these areas. I want to learn , but I can’t learn this knowledge online. I want to be smart all the time, so I come to you. 首先，我是一個有躁鬱症的人。其實我不知道自己是，但如果你們定義這個病的症狀，我想我有。但請不要先把我先把我定型，請先把這篇文章看完或分析，這樣就會知道我是否正確。科學家發現了有力的證據表明，天才可能與瘋狂有關。我們腦袋結構先天性與普通人不同，在躁階段時腦袋運行得特別快，但我不知道什麼時候會到達終點。我相信我是天才。詳情自行參閱躁鬱症相關的特徵。我覺得你們現今治療躁鬱症的方法是錯誤的，因為你們從不理解我們。我腦海中有很多治療這病的方法及經驗，我有信心以我的經驗可以幫到你們。我可以肯定地説，你們對這個病的認知都只是存於你們對我們的定義。對我來說，只要我一在"躁"的狀態，我看量子力學與宗教的看法完全有別於一般人。我們會本能上喜歡學習宗教，喜歡學習這個世界，喜歡我們覺得是真理的東西。對我來說，只要我一在"躁"的狀態，我看量子力學與宗教的看法完全有別於一般人。我們會本能上喜歡學習宗教，喜歡學習這個世界，喜歡我們覺得是真理的東西。我覺得這都是可以研究的方向，還有很多。雖然我對每一項研究都不深，但我對每件事都可以有不同的理解。我覺得美國電影是令我們信服意識的存在，你們在這方面一定有很深的研究，我想學習，但網上學不到關於這方面的知識，我想一直變得聰明，所以來找你們。 I agree with you that we will be very arrogant, but at the same time because of this disease, we will be very humbly asking for advice. You can ask my opinion, and then test whether my inference is the same as your research, such as consciousness, religious mechanics, quantum mechanics. I don't know how much time I have been smart, but I can understand one thing very deeply and understand it quickly compared to others. But in fact, I don't know if I am smart, because the people around me are just ordinary college students, so I want to prove it. I need an authority in this area to help me. I think everyone has a world. I used to have a low self-esteem because I was the only one who liked Buddha. But after reading the definition of quantum mechanics, I think I am very smart, because everything in the world is universal. I think my life is too dull, I can chat with you, or you can give me some research directions, and let me understand it in different way. This is just something that I find fun and use to avoid exam. Whether I say it is true or not, it is worth to study on this genius disease. For me, all people with bipolar disorder are geniuses. It's just being advertised as a disease by society, requiring treatment, harmful to society, and being discriminated against by the public. This is what makes bipolar disorder to be the highest rate of suicide. The real murderers are all psychologists. 我同意你們所說我們會很自大，但同時因為這個病，我們會很虛心請教。你可以問我的看法，再測試我的推論與你們的研究是否相同，例如意識上、宗教力學上、量子力學上。我不知道我聰明的時間有多少，但我對一件事的理解可以很深，相對其他人很快就明白。不過其實我不知我是否聰明，因為我身邊的人都只是普通的大學生，所以我希望證明，我需要一個這方面的權威來幫我。我覺得每一個人都有一個世界。我以前很自卑，因為只有我喜歡佛。但看完量子力學的定義，我覺得自己很聰明，因為原來世界上所有東西都是通用的。我覺得我的生活太沉悶，我可以與你們聊天，或者你地可以給我一些研究的方向，讓我用不同角度去理解。這只是一個我覺得好玩用來逃避考試的東西，無論我說的是否事實，在這個病上都值得研究的。對我來說，所有患有躁鬱症的都是天才。只是被社會標榜成一種病，需要接受治療，對社會有害，被大眾歧視。這才是令躁鬱症成為自殺率最高疾病的原因，真正的殺人兇手就是一眾心理醫生。 Consciousness 24 Billy You disdain consciousness. The master character decides which one has memory, and we can choose to forget or not. Each of us has conscious, for example, you have seen ghosts, it depends on whether you are afraid and choose to forget or not. In fact, we can choose to forget, but we have already forgotten the progress. People recall everything before death. I deduced from this, it may be wrong or right. But at least after I overcome this disease, I know that I can actually control my manic character, provided that I have a broad mind. The Chinese Buddha has helped me a lot in this regard, although I cannot forget, or I have forgotten whether I have forgotten. My consciousness tells me that I can do it, even if I can't prove it.irm it. I tried to have lucid dreams since I was a child, but I couldn’t do it, even after using many methods. Last night was the first time I tried it with a modern method. In fact, I couldn’t do it. I should say I don’t remember if I can do it. Here, I need your help. I believe the deep subconsciousness exists, but every time I wake up I can't recall it. I want to use it to help more people like me. I am not afraid that you will think I am crazy, because I am used to being treated as a stranger. Even if no one says it, I can feel it. People with mood disorders are particularly sensitive in emotional perception. I am grateful that psychology has taught me a lot, and I admit that psychology has saved many people. However, due to the stereotype of this disease, more and more people are getting this disease. While saving people, we are all harming people. 24個比利你們太少看意識。主人格決定那個擁有記憶，而且我們可以選擇忘記。我們每個人都有意識，例如看過鬼。但看你怕不怕而去選擇忘記與否。其實是我們自己選擇去不去忘記，不過我們已經忘記了。人死前會記得所有事情，俗稱走馬燈。我是由這去推論的，可能錯，亦可能對。但最少我克服了這個病後，我知道自己其實可以控制到狂燥的性格出來，前提我必須令到自己心胸廣闊。中國的佛在這方面幫助了我好多，雖然我做不到忘記，或者我已經忘記有沒有忘記。我的意識告訴我我一定會做得到，即使我不能證實。我由小時候就嘗試發清醒夢，但我做不到，即使用了很多方法，昨晚是我第一次用現代的方法試，其實我也做不到，應該説我不記得我能否做到，我想你們幫我。我覺得深度潛意識是存在的，但每次醒來我都回想不起。我想用它去幫助更多與我一樣的人，我不怕你覺得我瘋狂，因為我習慣了被人當異類。就算沒人説，我都感覺到，有情緒病的人情感感知上都特別靈敏。我很感激心理學教會了我好多，亦承認心理學救了很多人。但因為我們定型了這是病，所以越來越多人得這個病。救人的同時，我們都在害人。 My characteristics 我的特質 1. I like to think. I am born different from people, so I will change myself to conform to the surrounding environment. In fact, I was extremely painful, and I didn't know the reason before. But after studying for an hour, I found that this is very similar to the definition of psychological commonwealth. Whether through images or text, I have a strong imagination. So I can mimic his world by studying the story of a saint, just like the god in the Bible. I think god didn't let Adam and Eve to eat the apple, it's because he think that the wisdom is too painful for human. It may be very arrogant. When you have wisdom, you will feel that the world is so boring. I have liked religion since I was a child, because I like stories and everyone's world. For example, what the Buddha said, the past, the present and the future. My understanding is that he understands everything at that moment and he can let go. I think people make his thought upside-down. When people get old, they can let go. Letting go of everything can make me progress. The most difficult thing is to let go of my own knowledge and learn the world with new understanding. To me, everything in the world makes sense. I have obtained is too little information now, so I am too narrow to see things. It seems that I was born to solve the problems. Life is not interesting or challenging for me. Also, I think emotional illness is our body's mechanism to protect ourselves. For example, hurting ourselves is actually to prevent our own suicide. 2. I sent this plan to all psychology associations and scientists in the world. Actually I feel nervers and low self-esteem after sending. Because I am overthrowing everything, but I believe I can bring you new perspectives. Please believe me or refute me. 3. Let’s talk about treatment of bipolar disorder, I have a diary that records my treatment of myself. The last challenge I gave myself was smoking, and then forced to quit smoking when I felt addicted. Although the process is a bit hard, I really enjoy the process of successfully quitting smoking. Due to my strong self-confidence, I never doubted myself. It's like I am born to believe that I am better than others, even if his grades are better than me. 4. I long for knowledge, and I hope to learn all the truths in this world. Atoms, quantum and relativity are all known to us humans. Believe me, if AI becomes smart and conscious, they will find it very boring because humans are stupid. I am actually inferior, but also arrogant. You are right, just like God's arrogant thoughts. But I always remind myself to keep an open mind to ask for advice. It is an inevitable fact for me to become the smartest person in the future. Using your current inferences, this kind of illness has made my consciousness fantastic. Because I was born to feel smart is inevitable. I'm sorry, I don't want to be so arrogant, and I feel guilty many times for this. Trust me, I believe everyone is equally smart. 5. Finally, let me talk about why you want to send an email, because I only know the definition of bipolar disorder today. I was surprised to find that the disease was the same as mine, only to realize that the disease was defined so badly. I was very angry, so I wanted to speak up for this disease. We are geniuses, but in the first 20 years of life, you have to survive it yourself, and you can become me. Don't believe the conclusions of psychologists. The one who knows best about yourself is actually yourself. From a modern perspective, the pain of your birth is destined to be extraordinary. This is your opportunity, because you are happier than normal people. You can choose to be treated by someone who has never had an emotional illness, be an ordinary person, or believe in yourself and be an extraordinary person. 1. 我喜歡思考，因為生來就與人不同，所以我會改變自身去形合周圍環境。其實我是極其痛苦的，以往不知道原因。但在這一小時學習後發現，這和心理上共同體的定義很像。無論是透過影像或是文字，我都有很強的想象。所以我可以通過學習一位聖人的故事，去模疑他的世界，就像聖經中的神，我認為他不讓我們吃果實是因為智慧實在太痛苦，可能是很自大。當你擁有智慧時就會感覺到這世界是這麼無聊。我自小對宗教就很喜歡，因為我喜歡故事，喜歡每個人的世界。例如佛所說的，過去現在未來，在我的理解是他在那一刻明白到所有事，才可以放下。我覺得我們模仿他是本未倒置得的，人到老去，就自然能放下，放下每件事，都能令我進步。目前最難的是放下我自己的學識，用新的理解去學習這個世界。對我來說，世間所有事都解釋得通。但我認為現時只是我得到的資料太少，所以我看事都太郟窄。我好像生來就是為了破解未破的難題，因為生活對我來說沒怎麼興趣或挑戰。還有，我認為情緒病是我們身體保護自己的機制，例如傷害自己其實是為了防止自己的自殺。 2. 這計劃我發給了世界的所有心理學協會及科學家。我其實發完都會感到不安及自卑，因為正在推翻你們的一切，但相信我可以帶給你們新的觀點，請相信我或反駁我。 3. 說一說我對於躁鬱症的治療方法，我有一篇日記記錄下我治療自己的過程。我最後給自己的挑戰是吸煙，然後再覺得上癮的時候強制戒煙。雖然過程有點辛苦，但我很享受成功戒煙的過程。而且由於我有強大的自信，我只是覺得困難，但從來沒懷疑過自己。就好像生來就相信自己比別人強，就算他的成績比我好。 4. 我渴望知識，我希望學到這世上所有真理。原子、量子和相對論都是我們人類而知的。相信我，如果AI變得聰明及有意識的話，他們一定會覺得很無聊，因為人類很笨。我其實是自卑的，但同時也是自大的。你們說得很對，就跟神一樣的自大想法。但我時刻提醒自己保持虛心請教，對我來說，未來成為最聰明的人是必然的事實。用你們現今其中的推論來說，這樣的疾病使我的意識異想強大。因為我生來就覺得聰明是必然的。對不起，我也不想這樣自大，我也為過這事感到自責很多次。相信我，我相信每個人是一樣聰明的。 5. 最後說一下為什麼要發電郵，因為我今天才知道躁鬱症的定義。我驚訝地發現病症跟我一樣，才知道這病被定義得這麼慘。我很憤怒，所以才想為這病發聲。我們是天才，只不過在人生一開始的20多年，你必須要自己挨過，挨得過，你就可以成為我。不要相信心理學家的定論，最清楚自己的，其實是你自己。現代的角度來說，你出生的痛苦就注定你的不平凡。這是你的機遇，因為你比正常人幸福，你可以選擇接受一個沒得過情緒病的人的治療，做一個平凡人，還是相信你自己，做一個不平凡的人。 I need money and achievements to prove to my parents that I am smart, but for myself, money is just to make me happy to buy what I love. For me, it is very difficult to prove that I am a talented person, and I have never felt that I do not need it, because I am only better in my mind. From a social point of view, I am a rubbish because I study too slowly, so I I hate these things. I know that if I like learning, I am a relative genius. I never think I am smart. I think the world is big. I hope to communicate with the authorities of all countries in the world. I want to use a social perspective to prove that I am a genius, but I don't want to think about proving myself, because if this continues, suicide is an inevitable result for me. I hope I can save myself. I hope that a psychologist will believe in me and give me the basic needs to do my research. At least for the time being, I love psychology. If you ask me, it’s very simple to solve this disease, that is, I don’t have to go to work, and I don’t have to learn what I don’t like to prove myself.I don't know how I work in this society is suitable for me, I hate the environment of many people, hate money, hate being famous, so I hope you can help me keep these opinions secret. I hope someone believes in me and is willing to believe in me, but it doesn't matter to me. Maybe after that I will no longer be interested in psychology, because no one has proven that what I said is correct. Ever since I was young, I have always felt that my talent is daydreaming. I hope someone can believe me, but in my heart I just feel that proving myself is troublesome. The 28th is the day when I am going to take the exam. I hope that before that, through this method, I will change my destiny in accounting. Because I am a Chinese, this is only done for my family, but I know that I will only commit suicide if I continue. Perhaps very arrogant, but I hope you believe that I am capable. Perhaps many of my current theories are very naive, but I really feel bored and lonely. I hope I can calm down and study, but I know that I need to take drugs that calm down to do what I don't want to do, and at the same time my mind will become stupid. 我需要金錢及成就去證明給我父母聽我是聰明的，但對於我自己，金錢只是為了讓我開心可以買到自己喜愛的事。對我來說，證明自己是天材是很困難的，也從來都覺得不需要，因為我只是思想上比較強，以社會的看法而言，我是一個垃圾，因為我學習太慢，所以我討厭著這些事。我知道如果我喜歡學習，我就是相對的天才。我從來都不覺得自己聰明，我覺得這個世界很大，我希望跟這世界各國的權威交流。我想用社會的角度來證明我是天才，但我不希望再在證明自己上思考，因為這樣下去，自殺對我來說是必然的結果。我希望可以拯救得到自己，我希望有心理學家願意相信我，給我基本的所需去做我的研究，最起碼暫時我是喜愛心理學的。如果你問我，要解決這個病很簡單，就是我不用再去工作，不用再去學我不喜歡的事去證明自己。我不知道我在這社會上有怎麼工作是適合我的，我討厭很多人的環境，討厭金錢，討厭成名，所以我希望你們可以幫我保密這些看法。我希望有人相信我，願意相信我，不過對我來說也不重要。或許過後我就不再對心理學有興趣，因為已經沒人證明到我所說的是正確。從小到大，我都覺得我的天份是發白日夢，我希望有人可以相信我，但我內心從來都只是覺得證明自己很麻煩。28號就是我要考試的日子，我希望在這之前，透過這種方法來改變我要從事會計的命運。因為我是中國人，這都只是為了我的家人而做，但我很清楚自己繼續下去只會自殺。或許很自大，但我希望你們相信我是有能力的，或許我現在的很多理論都是很天真，但我真的覺得好無聊，感到很孤獨。我希望可以靜下來溫習，但我知道我必需要吃情緒安定的藥才可以做得到不想做的事，同時我的腦子會變得愚蠢。 I am convinced that I am special, but I am not sure if I am smart, because all the quasi-tests in this society show that I am stupid. For me, this is the fate I was born to accept. I was born with this kind of pain, and I know I can’t change it, so this plan is my gamble. I hope someone can use my talent. Actually, I don’t know what it does to me, I just don’t get bored. So this is also the cause of the most suicide rate. I have also prevented myself from committing suicide many times, and used the method of hurting myself to prevent further loss. I am arrogant, but at the same time I am extremely inferior. Numbers are used to calculate the future, but this is limited to the human perspective. I believe in the theory of relativity and I like quantum mechanics, because one thing finally proves that I am not lying. I hope someone can help me, but don't help me from the perspective of a normal person, because I was born abnormal. I believe that my nature is kind, and getting up every day is for me to hone my character, because I think this world is boring and no one will understand me. The following are my characteristics. I hope someone can use my characteristics to arrange a job for me instead of just arranging me a normal job. 我深信我是特別的，但我不肯定我是不是聰明，因為這個社會所有的準測都顯示我很蠢。對我來說，這是我生來就要接受的命運。我生來就是這樣的痛苦，我很清楚我改變不了，所以這篇計劃是我的賭博，我希望有人可以運用到我這種天份。其實我不知道這對我有什麼用，我只是為了不感到無聊。所以這也是自殺率最多的病的原因，我也曾經多次阻止自己自殺，用傷害自己的方法來阻止繼續失落。我是自大的，但同時也是極度的自卑。數字是用來計算未來，但這只限於人的角度。我相信相對論，很喜歡量子力學，因為終於有一件事可以證明我不是在說謊。我希望有人可以幫助我，但不要用正常人的角度去幫助我，因為我生來就不正常。我相信我的本性是善良的，每天起床對我來說都是磨練自己的心性，因為覺得這世界很無聊，沒人會理解我。以下是我的特質，我希望有人可以利用我的特性為我安排工作，而不單單安排我一份正常人的工作。 1. From a psychological point of view, my brain turns very fast, this feeling will make you feel like a god. Thinking from this perspective, I can say that I am the person closest to the idea of God, and I can easily understand what they say. 2. Through my eyes, I can feel good or bad instinctively. I don't know if it is wrong or right, but when I look at that person, I intuitively like or dislike him. 3. Wisdom can make me addicted, and I know very well that if I want to get ahead in society, I must go to cure. But I hate it because it is changing my character and my nature. It's never a disease, but people don't understand it. I have tried to understand the world of normal people since I was born. I am abnormal in your eyes, but you are the abnormal in my eyes. My life is only rational, but I actually have a lot of emotions. But you must rely on such a strong xinxing to control yourself. To me, Buddha and Confucius are both smart people because I understand their words. 4. No matter what the result is, my destiny is destined in my opinion. Maybe many people want to be a smart person, but believe me, you will be better than dead, just to sort out such a mess of thoughts, come to me Saying takes more time than others, so I hate typing. Regardless of the result, thank you. I have been very happy these two days. I have learned a lot and I have deepened my understanding of my illness. I really want you to help me prove it, but I have to put it down again, because if this continues, I may not be able to think about it. 1. 在心理學的角度，我的大腦轉得很快，這種感覺會讓你好像神一樣。以這種角度去想，我可以說是最接近神想法的人，我可以很易理解到他們說的話。 2. 透過眼睛，我可以本能地感覺到好壞，我不知道是錯是對，但一看那個人我就會直覺喜歡或不喜歡他。 3. 智慧是會讓我上癮的，我很清楚我要在社會上出人頭地就要去醫治。但我很討厭，因為這是在改變著我的性格及我的本質。這從來不是病，只是人們不理解。我從一出生就要努力去理解正常人的世界，我在你們眼中不正常，但你們才是我眼中的不正常。我的生活只有理性，其實我是有著豐富的情感的。但必需要靠這樣強大的心性，才可以控制住自己。對我來說，佛陀、孔子都是一個聰明人，因為我理解他們的話。不論結果如，在我看來我的命運都是注定的，或許很多人都想當一個聰明的人，但相信我，你會生不如死的，單是要整理這麼亂的想法，對我來說就要比其他人用更多的時間，所以我討厭著打字。 4. 不論結果如何，謝謝你們。這兩天我很開心，我學習到很多，對自己病情的理解又加深了一步。我很想你們可以幫我證明，但我又必須放下，因為再這樣下去我可能又會想不開。 My arrogance limits my knowledge I have fought so many times, maybe you don’t believe that I have this disease. For me, I don’t know if things are right. As long as I am happy or angry, my thinking will be relatively fast. I try to give explanations based on my childhood experience, but they are only representative of me. It is very painful for me to have this disease, but now I am very happy to be able to communicate with you about this aspect, and my learning speed will become relatively faster. We are really not arrogant. I believe that people with this disease have super intuition. I don’t know if it’s right, but I can quickly judge right or wrong based on what I have learned. The more you get, the more accurate your judgment will be than others. When I was a child, I couldn't concentrate on class, because my mind often popped up many different ideas. Let me talk about my characteristics and hope that I can help you. 我的自大限制了我的知識我打了這麼多，或許你們會不相信我擁有這個病，對我來說，我也不知道事情是不是正確。只要我開心或憤怒，我的思維會相對比較快，我嘗試根據我小時候的經驗給出解釋，但都只是代表我。擁有這個病對我來說生來就非常痛苦，我現在很開心可以跟你們交流這方面的事，我學習的速度就會變得相對比較快。我們真係不是自大，我相信擁有這個病的人都有超強的直覺，我也不知道是不是對的，但我可以根據我學過的東西快速判斷對錯，所以理據上只要我學得越多，判斷就會比別人準。我小時候集中不了上課，因為我的腦海經常性地彈出很多不同的想法，我再說說我的特質，希望可以幫到你們。 1. I like to fight since I was born, and people around me will habitually believe in me. Anger can make me think quickly. I used to believe in constellations because I was a Scorpio. I thought it was a kind of stingy character, but in fact, I seldom get angry with people. Usually the point of my anger is that they don't believe me. In the process of growing up, we will meet many people who are more knowledgeable than me. It is very painful for us to accept new things, because in our minds, what we say is the truth. 2. I have never liked drinking since I was young because it makes me unable to think. 3. I like an absolutely quiet place, as long as I say to be serious, whether in games or in study (but usually I can’t concentrate unless you like the person who teaches you very much) As long as anyone interrupts me, I will definitely I can't control the tantrums at the people around me. People around me will definitely feel that we are trapped in ourselves and want to save us. But we can only figure it out by ourselves, because we are very arrogant about ourselves, we only believe in people who are smarter or stronger than us. Take me as an example. I respect cleaners or scientists, because these are boring to me and I can't do it. I used to think I was lazy, but it may also be true, because I couldn't prove it. 4. I enjoy communicating with you, because you are all authorities in this area. I like psychology very much because it teaches me many things. But I hate clinical psychologists. If you believe in common or sympathetic psychology, I think boredom is a necessary characteristic of this profession. It is painful to talk about my own emotions, because I was born to feel that it is natural to understand the emotions of others, which is inevitable in my world. I think it can be inferred that people with mood disorders have this characteristic, but I can't confirm it. 5. If I were to comment on myself, I think I am extremely contradictory. Although when I type now, I feel that what I say is the truth, but after the excitement, I will extremely question myself, because I was born to feel that I was wrong, because the people around me did not agree with me. If possible, I hope to reply to me as soon as possible. I need this knowledge to confirm my thoughts. The waiting now has brought me great pain. I hope someone will reply and say that I am wrong, because this will allow me to improve myself. 6. Although I know I will regret saying such things later, I am sure that no one knows myself better than I do. I have never seen a psychologist, so I actually don't know if I have this disease. I can only say with certainty that I have had the characteristics of this disease since I was a child, but until now I don't agree with the view that mood disease is a disease. To solve this disease, we must have strong knowledge, and then let go of this knowledge to truly feel the so-called patients. You must know/believe them in your heart. Because I think people with emotional illness will naturally know what you think. This is a kind of talent. As long as our society does not reject them, they are not patients. 7. I hope that I can talk to this authority and use him to solve the side effects of this disease. In fact, it is a lot of pressure for me. I know that it is very disrespectful for me to question you with a little knowledge. I am sorry for my arrogance, time is very important to me, every minute and every second seems to test my own xinxing, I am very harmful, and my heart beats fast and I sleep Don't teach. 8. By the way, you can speak to me in English. I know that it may be difficult for you to use Chinese, but my mind turns too fast, so I can only choose my mother tongue to speak to you. 1. 我生來就喜歡吵架，我身邊的人都會習慣性的相信我。憤怒可以讓我思想變得很快。我以前相信星座的，因為我是天蠍座的，我以為這是我小氣的一種性格，但其實我很少對人生氣，通常我生氣的點在於他們不相信我。成長的過程總會遇到很多比我學識比我強的人，我們接受新的事物是很痛苦的，因為我們的腦海中，我們所說的就是真理。 2. 我從少就不喜歡喝酒，因為它讓我思考不了。 3. 我喜歡絕對安靜的地方，只要我說了要認真，無論是遊戲上或是學習上 (不過通常都集中不了除非你很喜歡那個教你的人) 只要有任何人打擾我，我就一定會控制不了向身邊的人發脾氣，身邊的人一定會有一種感覺是我們在困在自己，很想拯救我們。但我們只能靠自己想通，因為我們對自己是非常自大的，我們只相信比我們聰明或強的人。以我為例，我很尊重清潔工人或是科學家，因為對我來說這些都很無聊，我做不到。從前以為是我懶，不過可能也是事實，因為我證實不到。 4. 我很喜歡跟你們交流，因為你們都是這方面的權威。我很喜歡心理學，因為教會我很多東西。但我很討厭臨床心理學家，如果在心理學上相信共同或共感體的話，我覺得悶是這職業的必要特質。談論自己的情緒是痛苦的，因為我生來就覺得明白別人的情緒是天生擁有的，這是我世界必然的事。我覺得可以由此推論有情緒病的人都有這特性，但我證實不了。 5. 如果要我自己評論自己，我覺得我是極奇矛盾的。雖然我現在打字的時候會覺得我說的就是真理，但興奮過後，我會極度質疑自己，因為我生來就覺得自己是錯的，由於身邊的人都不認同我。如果可以的話，我希望可以快一點回覆我，我需要這方面的知識去印證我的想法。現在的等待為我帶來極大的痛苦，我希望有人回覆說我錯，因為這樣可以使我改進自己。 6. 雖然我知道我等一下會後悔說這樣的話，但我可以肯定沒人比我更了解我自己。我從來沒看過心理醫生，所以我其實不知道自己有沒有這個病。我只可以肯定地說，這個病的特質我從小都有，但直到現在我也不認同情緒病是病的觀點。想解決這個病，我們必須擁有強大的知識，然後放下這些知識去真切感受所謂的病人，你的內心一定要知道/相信他們是沒問題的。因為我覺得情緒病的人自然就會知道你的想法，這是一種天份，只要我們社會不排斥他們，他們就不是病人。 7. 我希望可以跟這方面的權威交談，透過他來解決這個病的副作用。其實對我來說是很大壓力的，我知道我用少少的知識來質疑你們是很不尊重的。我為我的自大感到抱歉，時間對我來說很重要，每一分每一秒的過去都好像考驗我自己的心性，我很害性自己說錯，我的心跳得很快，我睡不著教。 8. 對了，可以用英語跟我說話，我知道我用中文可能對你們來說很困難，但我的腦海轉動得太快，所以我只能選擇我的母語跟你們說話。

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